Mary's Girl Catholic

Freedom of Conscience, Catholicism and Nurse Midwifery

2012-01-26T10:39:00.002-06:00

I am now considering an addition to my career: becoming a Certified Nurse Midwife. This would enable me to deliver babies in homes, birthing centers and hospitals. However, I am very concerned about the new legislation, passed by the Obama administration last week, which makes it mandantory for insurance companies to pay for abortions and contraception, and erases the conscience protections I currently have as a practicing and devout Roman Catholic, 1) to not refer women for abortions or perform abortions and 2) to not prescribe contraception.

Right now, in my job, as a Student Health NP at TTU, I pretty much HAVE to prescribe birth control, and that is a very sticky issue for me. Personally I try as hard as I can to talk the girls out of it. I tell them how unnatural it is to suppress their normal hormones. I tell them about the very real increase in breast cancer risk, infection risk (especially yeast and bacterial infections) and the miscarriage and abortion risk if they get pregnant while on the pill or other methods (which happens a LOT). If they are Catholic I ask why they are considering contraception in the first place?

These new laws take effect August 1, 2012, shortly before I will be entering the Nurse Midwifery Program. Will I be required to learn to do abortions and prescribe abortaficents like RU 486? Will I be mandated to assist or perform when babies die in the womb naturally?

If I am required to do these things, there is no way I can become a midwife. It is very interesting to note that, the roots of midwifery in Texas all began with Catholic nursing Sisters in the border areas who wanted to provide health care for the poor immigrant women they served. EVERY beginning nurse midwife in Texas going back to the 1950s and even earlier, was a Catholic sister....NOT a Feminazi who wanted to provide abortions! these Sisters would roll over in some of their graves, to learn what women's health has become.

Pray for me, that my venture into assisting LIFE into the world, can happen without any further participation in the culture of death!

Change

2011-10-18T20:52:00.001-05:00

Ever since finishing my black belt test successfully on September 24th, I feel that my life is going through a time of intense and rapid change, all for the better. On October 7th I had surgery on my left foot to remove a bunion and re align my toe. I am recuperating well, but was not prepared to have to take an extra week off from my job to get the surgery done. I go back to work tommorrow after getting my stitches out today. I will be on crutches for 6 more weeks and can't go back to full karate workouts until then.

The hardest thing in all this has been the enforced idleness. I am now a very muscular and in-shape person who is used to extreme levels of physical activity and used to being active all day long. Sitting in bed with my feet up is the hardest part.

Also, I have a new grandbaby! Jack Dawson Johnson was born yesterday October 17th at 9:56 am. He is David and Jaime's son (David is my middle stepson of the three boys). He was 7.1 lbs, 21 inches long and looks just like his dad and my husband Jerry (IMHO). It will be so nice having another grandchild!

RAIN

2011-09-15T10:48:00.002-05:00

Awoke this morning to a sight I have not seen since last summer - gentle rain, skies full of clouds and the ground overflowing! Praise you Jesus, Father, Son, Holy Spirit and all the angels and saints

Quitting Facebook

2011-09-06T16:02:00.002-05:00

I have quit Facebook. Permanently.

I did this after going camping by myself this weekend and realizing that without my computer, cell phone, internet and other modern delights (I am a baby boomer who was raised on one house telephone which I WASNT allowed to talk on much) and 3 channels on TV) that I really don't have much use for all that.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if something were to happen to all this tech stuff, and life could be a little simpler?

Of insomnia and stress

2011-08-25T08:49:00.002-05:00

I have insomnia. Let's face it, for years, unless I take benadryl I cannot sleep. Believe me. I've tried everything. Right now I am having a rough time of it because I am back at work after my summer vacation. I want to get up early, go to morning Mass, work out, and go to work. But since I can't sleep, it is a vicious cycle of barely waking up in time to get to work.

Summer Vacation

2011-06-03T15:45:00.002-05:00

I am enjoying my summer vacation. Not growing a garden this year...doesn't seem very prudent in a year when we have had less than half an inch of rain since last September.

I am training for my black belt test which is tentatively set for September, (no official date from Master Downs as yet) and working on several quilting and sewing projects that people at work and others have asked me to do. That, and my church activities, are keeping me busier than I imagined. I am also doing the daily breviary (I have the four volume set) and going to daily Mass again.

Oh, and rediscovering the joy of swimming laps - I must be part fish. This past week I've been over to the TTU Rec Sports lap pool every day, swimming at least a mile a day (that's 36 laps or if you are walking or jogging, 4 miles). Only when you swim, you burn about 700 calories!

Now if I could sell some quilts, so my husband would let me stay home all the time and do this!

Are You an Emotional Eater?

2010-10-11T21:25:00.002-05:00

Some of you know that I am and have been an eating disorder sufferer for most of my life. I have been to inpatient treatment two times and have lots of experience and recovery to offer. I would like to tell everyone to check out two wonderful web sites if you think you are addicted to food and cannot control it. Do you eat over things that bother you? do you eat for no good reason, when you are not hungry? Do you ever purge the food or exercise it away? If so, maybe you can join my family of hope.

This group is free. There is a very structured food plan at the Food Addicts Anonymous site. In 1995, Overeaters Anonymous decided that it could not dictate a certain way of eating so it changed a bit and now members are encouraged to find a sensible solution that works for them. I know many folks, for instance, who combine working Weight Watchers with OA meetings and tools to gain recovery from this addiction.

For me, sugar, flour, wheat and random snacking are my dangers. As long as I eat according to a written plan and give that to my sponsor, I am at peace. It is like the fence around the playground, within that fence I am safe and free.

Meetings are held online around the clock every 3 hours Eastern Time USA. 12, 3, 6, 9 and 12. (yes also in the wee hours of the night). In Texas the meetings are 11, 2, 5and 8. The nice thing about online meetings is that you don't run the risk of running into anyone you don't want to see if you are new and shaky. There are "face to face" meetings in Lubbock, but many people's schedules don't allow for this and as Lubbock is a big small town, some might not be able to handle this.

I invite you to check this out. It's made a world of difference to me.

Howard Storm - The Future of the World

2010-08-18T10:12:00.000-05:00

Howard Storm - The Future of the World

RV Problem Found

2010-08-04T20:32:00.002-05:00

The Durabilt transmission shop called and said that the problem is something called a "speed sensor" which is in the dashboard near the speedometer. There is another speed sensor on the transmission itself. The one on the dashboard is not working correctly and so that was why it kept dropping out and sticking in first gear. So apparently, we will be able to limp home by driving at 20 mph when this happens and then it resets itself.

The other interesting thing is that there are apparently only 4 of these speed sensors for a 1990 Toyota 3.0 V-6 truck engine in the US. Jerry looked on the internet and may be able to find one. If so, he is going to order it and fix it himself.

We went to Mass this morning at Holy Rosary Catholic Church in Idaho Springs. It's a lovely old (1900) church with the altar of marble, a baldachino and the Trinity and Holy Spirit symbols on it, the Tabernacle is right behind the altar where it belongs. There is a beautiful statue of the Holy Family on the Mary side of the Church and also a beautiful big statue of the Sacred Heart just to the left of that. The stained glass windows are of the Titles of Mary on the left of the church and the Mysteries of the Rosary on the right.
The feel of the church is of tremendous holiness. They have Perpetual Adoration 24-7 (we could not find the chapel) and the Catholic Schools for Idaho Falls are at this parish. Apparently Idaho Falls is predominantly Mormon. We found that Idaho is the most Mormon state besides Utah. There are 3 pages of Mormon churches in the phone book and only 3 Catholic parishes.

After Mass we spent 5 hours walking all over town. They have a fantastic local history museum called The Museum of Idaho and it had an article on wolves and dogs and the entire history of how wolves might have been domesticated. They also had a really good exhibit on the local history and that was quite fascinating. They use all retirees as docents for their museum and the old folks tell wonderful tales of the region. One elderly gentleman regaled us with tales of cutting wheat and harvesting potatoes by hand, and of going to Washington State to work the apple harvest as a boy. We really enjoyed this! We also discovered the Great Harvest Bread Company, which serves hot whole grain bread by the slice and also every other baked good you can imagine. We had cinnamon rolls. MMMM!!!

Tonight we had dinner at Olive Garden. Chrystal's homemade spaghetti is BETTER!

All in all we liked Idaho Falls. We learned that Jesus loves to show us how well He can take care of us, but sometimes we have to wind up in situations that make us need Him more than we think.

New Places and Broken Friendships

2010-08-03T15:01:00.003-05:00

Today has been a day of mixed blessings. As I have been blogging we are in an unintended adventure after our RV transmission broke down in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Today was tow day. The tow truck arrived at the KOA camp precisely on time, only to find that due to how low our rig sits on the ground, we could not get it on the tow truck for fear of tearing off the plumbing - something about the angle of the wrecker platform. So another type of tow truck had to come out to hold up the rear end of our RV so they could get it up on to the wrecker platform. Then Jerry and I and my Big Tote Bag got into the wrecker and drove 100 miles west to Idaho Falls, Idaho where there is a Durabilt Transmission shop of good repute.

The drive was beautiful. The Snake River Canyon feeds this humongous (at least 40 or 50 miles long) reservoir that our tow truck guy says is the main water supply for Idaho. It looked like Lake Evendim in the Lord of the Rings movies, (the one Sam almost drowns in if you remember). All it lacks is the huge statues of the Kings of Gondor at the end of the lake. We tried to take pictures with our phones but no luck.

We arrived in Idaho Falls and the shop owner got his office manager lady to take us to the Super 8 Motel where I am relaxing in the air conditioned room looking forward to my first bubble bath in a week, later on, and a walk down to see the Idaho Falls Riverwalk, which isn't far from our hotel. We hope to be here only a few days, so I will keep everyone up to date.

The miracles on this trip have been amazing. We could have broke down in the desert somewhere or got stranded and been at the mercy of criminals or dishonest mechanics, but without exception every person we have met has bent over backwards to be kind and helpful.

I've only had one low spot. I have a very dear friend who has been close for 24 years. I inadvertently gave her advice on a post she put up on Facebook about canning homemade apple pie filling. She told me I was a "bully" and that I was "over the line" and she was unfriending me. I had read her post as "I hope my jars are sealed" and so I'd written to share that, when I am home-canning, I test my jar seals by lifting the jars by the lid without the ring on after they've cooled and if they set and don't come apart then they are sealed. She took offense at this and unfriended me, even though I apologized for giving unwanted advice. She said that "everyone else" ??? also thinks I am a bully and has been too afraid to say so all these years. So, I guess I will have to let this friendship go. I had no idea; we had a lot of fun over the years.

A day of mixed blessings. Of love and heartache, of relief and tears.
A good day.

Update: Still Stranded in Wyoming, Part Deux

2010-08-01T18:26:00.002-05:00

We are still in Wyoming at the Snake River RV park in Jackson Hole. Like we're going anywhere with a blown transmission. I got a taxi to and from my medical conference and was disgusted to find out that every single speaker was an Obamacare Maniac. Mixed in with the talks about birth control news (apparently after 50 years of telling women that contraception is dangerous to a fetus and women who want to get pregnant should be off the pill for at least one or two cycles before conceiving) it is now ok to have women take the pill EVEN IF THEY ARE PREGNANT - AFTER ALL, THEY DON'T NEED THE INCONVENIENCE OF A BABY ANYWAY!!!!?????? I knew the Planned Parenthood folks were insane but this bites it. No more two year limit on depo birth control shots..."we used to think they caused osteoporosis but now we know it doesn't matter" (heads up pro lifers...it doesn't matter because they are going to kill you by death panel when you hit 55!)

The leading speaker at this conference spent two hours extolling the glories of der Obamafuhrers' wonderful new electronic medikal rekords and how this vill streamline de process of health delivery enabling all of us to accommodate 5000 patients "per medical home!" HOW MUCH ARE THEY PAYING HIM TO DRIVEL THIS CRAP DOWN OUR THROATS!

Enough said. I think I may not be going back to the conference. I would like to ENJOY my enforced stay in the wilds of Wyoming!

Stuck in Jackson Hole, Wyoming

2010-07-31T19:52:00.002-05:00

We are in Jackson Hole, Wyoming at a KOA camp on the Snake River. We are stranded here until we can find a transmission mechanic. Our transmission on our 1990 Toyota motorhome died today.
This death of our transmission followed an incredible miracle this morning. We had been having trouble with the engine cutting out on us and had to find a mechanic in Rock Springs, Wyoming this morning. We figured we could not find anyone. Then we found a parts store (Auto Zone) and a girl named Michelle who was just getting off work took us to a Mexican mechanic who had a Guatemalan guy working for him...who just happened to be very experienced with our engine. I think if the tranny problem had been evident to the mechanic this morning it would have been fixed too. The convergence of finding a girl who knew someone who could fix our problem on a Saturday was, frankly, miraculous. I had been praying we'd find someone and it would be the right person, and it was.
Now if we can get home again.

Am I Still A "Dog Person?"

2010-07-21T15:52:00.002-05:00

Today was a real bummer. On Saturday my girl Great Pyrenees dog Sadie, died. We found her in the yard when we went to feed her after we got home from church Saturday evening.

Well, Chief, my 12 year old male Great Pyrenees, was heart broken. He and Sadie were rescued by me from their former owners about 3 months apart. Sadie was 3 when she was rescued and Chief was 4 or 5. I believe I got them in 2002 or 2003 respectively. Well, Cheif quit eating Sunday night. Then last night his old left hip, which he suffered dysplasia in for years, gave out on him and he could not walk. We had to get the maintenance men from the City of Wolfforth to help us lift him on a blanket into the back of the truck. We took him over to the vet and after discussing all the options, decided not to go through any more surgeries or procedures for him.

I have had these dogs, about 8 other rescued Pyrenees whom I have found homes for, and other dogs, for so long I cannot imagine life without a dog of some type around. I am getting to the point though, where the idea of having to go through all this in another 10 or 12 years, is just too much. I think it may be time to try "life without dog". I just don't know if I will be able to.

Who your friends are

2010-07-20T17:30:00.001-05:00

When one writes a blog, which is a freedom of expression sort of thing, one should expect to have feelings hurt if people disagree with you. I expected all kinds of things when I started this blog a couple years ago: that liberals would want to send me hateful email; that some of my friends would be entertained at least by the audacity of me opinionating on every subject under the sun, whether or not I knew anything about it.

I hoped my family and friends would see it as a sort of "keeping up with Judy and the Johnsons" newsletter. At the very least I expected no response at all.

Today someone I consider a sister in Christ emailed me to say that she does not want to get my blogs in her email any more. Her reason? Well, a few months ago we attended a retreat together and during this retreat the subject of whether or not it was God's will for me to continue doing karate came up. I decided to continue the karate. She did not like this and thinks I am disobeying God. So she does not want to hear from me anymore. That was a shock.
I will miss her.

On to Black Belt!

2010-07-16T22:39:00.001-05:00

I passed my red belt test Wednesday. Now it is on to Black Belt. I need to get stronger and in even better cardiac shape. I need to lose at least 20 pounds and I'd like to lose 30 or more. I need to talk to my doctor about adjusting my thyroid meds.

Red Belt test Wednesday Night!

2010-07-12T21:57:00.003-05:00

Well it is finally here or soon will be, and I think I am more prepared than I have ever been. I know I am in better shape and stronger. My knee is all healed from last year. I have had at least one or two workouts or sparring sessions with all the black belts and they all seem to agree that I am ready for this test.
The interesting thing is that I am not afraid this time like I was last time. I am going to go out there and do my best. I am offering it up as a prayer and as a way of sharing Christ's suffering, to save souls, to save our country and to end abortion. So even if they kill me, it will have been worth it.
But it won't .... I am ready.

Two or three weeks now until Red Belt Test

2010-07-01T22:02:00.002-05:00

I will be taking my red belt test in karate on either the 2nd or 3rd Wednesday this month;either the 14th or the 21st. I think this may be one of my better tests; at least I hope so. I have been training harder for this one than any of the previous ones and also, I think I have been training somewhat smarter.

Anyway, I hope it goes well, pray for me and wish me alertness, breath, relaxing and not to get sick or hurt before the test. (or during).

Life and True Intimacy

2010-05-31T23:32:00.002-05:00

A dear priest friend read this as part of his homily at Mass this morning. I thought: "if President Obama and Pelosi, et. al, read this, would they be moved enough to reverse their views on abortion?"

This quote is from a book by Jack Kornfield "A Path With Heart":

"There is a tribe in east Africa in which the art of true intimacy is fostered even before birth. In this tribe, the birth date of a child is not counted from the day of its physical birth nor even the day of conception...in this tribe the birth date comes the first time the child is a thought in its mother's mind. Aware of her intention to conceive a child, the mother goes off to sit alone under a tree. There she sits and listens until she can hear the song of the child that she hopes to conceive. Once she has heard it, she returns to her village and teaches it to the father so that they can sing it together...inviting the child to join them. After the child is conceived, she sings it to the baby in her womb. Then she teaches it to the old women and midwives of the village, so that throughout the labor and at the miraculous moment of birth itself, the child is greeted with its song. After the birth all the villagers learn the song of their new member and sing it to the child when it falls or hurts itself. It is sung in times of triumph, or in rituals and initiations. This song becomes a part of the marriage ceeremony when the child is grown, and at the end of life, his or her loved ones will gather around the deathbed and sing this song for the last time."

Food for thought.

Thoughts about being strong and martial arts

2010-05-08T21:29:00.002-05:00

I am preparing and training for my red belt test which I hope will be in July. As a 50 year old female martial artist who started this at the age of 46 I can say that it has been a long road and not without its challenges. At my third brown belt test (we have four levels of brown belt in our school - 4 stripes, 3 stripes, 2 stripes and solid brown) I was sparring one of the red belt girls in my fight line and got three ribs broken. After I recuperated from that it took another year to train to take the same test again. I passed it the second time, but I could see that I needed to train really hard, and intensify my cardio and kata practice and sparring.

Let me describe our tests. We open the test by going through all the basic punches, blocks and kicks. Then we do our formal one step forms, with a partner we go through four or five formalized one-step sparring routines which are not contact, just to show techniques. Then, we have kata. In our system, between white and black belt there are 12 forms, sometimes called kata (the Japanese word) or poomse(Korean word). At this next test I will perform 11 forms.

After this there is the self defense circle. Everyone in the dojo encircles the person testing. Then each person in the circle attacks the one testing with a realistic attack and the person has to get out of that situation and take down the attacker. In our system we have incorporated techniques from jiu jitsu, aikido and judo as well as karate and tae kwon do, to enable us to fight from the ground. We also learn defenses against knives and sticks and guns. We do some of all these techniques in the circle.

Then comes the end of the test. We spar. First we spar one round, short exhibition fights. Then the person testing has to fight against a group of two, three or four attackers. Finally, the very end of the test, is the line. All the students and the black belt instructors line up from lowest to highest belt and commence to fight the person testing until the person testing cannot stand up. When it seems they are totally unable to continue, Master Downs (our Sensei or head instructor and the school's owner) asks "can you continue?" and if the answer is not "yes, Sir" then after all that, the person flunks the test. It is the way this system has done testing for 30 years. At my red belt test I hope to get through it and do a better job in my sparring than I have in the last ones. I also hope that by my black belt test I will be able to also break 3 boards using 3 separate techniques, a requirement for that test.

Many people ask me why I do this. After all, I'm 50 years old, and why do I want to put myself at risk for injuries and all this when there are so many other ways I could keep in shape? I've been a distance runner, done yoga for years and have been a distance swimmer. So why this, at my age?

Well this is my answer so far. It is because to do this, I have to reach deep inside my heart of hearts, and pull out the best that is there. I then take that best, and offer it to God with my whole heart. He can do whatever he wants with my pain, my sweat, my blood and my tears, and He will use it just as well as he would the offering of someone with cancer or heart trouble, or any other prayer that is from the heart. It is one of the unique ways that I can give God my best.

It also means that, if anybody tries to hurt my grandbabies, they'd better watch out!

three more weeks and gardening

2010-04-26T10:26:00.002-05:00

There are only three weeks until I get off for my annual summer leave of absence. I can't wait! I've got some money saved up; and over the weekend after getting the neighbor boy Austin to rototill my 30 foot by 45 foot garden plot, I hoed, by hand, by myself, 10 (yes, 10) 20 foot long by 3 foot wide vegetable beds. This week and over the coming weekend I'm going to work some Vigoro fertilizer into the soil (my soil test kit said I don't have enough phosphorus or potassium, and my nitrogen is "medium"). I've decided not to plant anything until I'm actually done with work for the summer, but the garden is progressing...yay!

Lent Reflections from Roswell

2010-03-15T09:40:00.006-05:00

The beautifully groomed and peaceful grounds of the little Poor Clare convent on East 19th Street in Roswell are drenched in a sudden early spring or late winter rain today. Tall pines and cottonwoods arching over the key shaped driveway seem to say to me "Peace, be still".

As I dip my fingers into the holy water font and enter the beautiful 1920s built chapel with its spanish style floral iron work surrounding the statues of Our Lady of Perpetual Help and St. Joseph, and the Stations of the Cross lining the pale yellow painted concrete-block walls, the sense of the Presence of Christ in the Eucharist overwhelms me. It has been 8 days since I have been able to make it to recieve Him. I miss Him, His presence within me and his nourishement in my soul. My Methodist family has no clue (except for maybe my father, who was Catholic once and I believe, in his heart, he still is)....I sink to my knees in silent gratitude begging Jesus forgiveness for my failure to make more of an effort to come to Mass last week and yesterday.

These are the same Poor Clares that run EWTN and its ministry. I'm not sure how many sisters are here but when I see them recieving Communion through the grille they all look very young; much younger than me. They are in the traditional long brown habit established by St. Clare 800 years ago and they are barefoot. Their faces are full of a quiet joy, the joy of a hope that does not perish, a flame in the heart not dependent on this world. The priest is a thin bearded Fransciscan who drags his oxygen tank around with him and coughs a lot. He had the oxygen in January when I was here visiting and he is very ill....I pray fervently for his healing.

Yesterday (Sunday) I went to a Methodist church with my parents, my twin sister and my brother in law, their kids and grandkids. It was a beautiful service with great choir, good preaching, beautiful church and friendly people....in many ways the protestant churches could teach the Catholics a lot about good music and inspired preaching. But there was one thing lacking that I could not find anywhere else and was the only thing I wanted. It is the only thing that makes my soul happy and is the one necessity of life....it is Jesus present in the Blessed Sacrament, His body, blood, soul and divinity and there is only one place I can go to find him: the Catholic Church that I love so much....it was good to be home again, this rainy Roswell morning.

Mirror Neurons, Depression, and Autism

2010-03-06T22:54:00.003-06:00

I went to an interesting seminar on Thursday and Friday for Nurse Practitioners. One of the most interesting things I learned about was something called "mirror neurons". Apparently scientists have known about these for awhile, but they are a lot more important in illnesses like depression and autism than we thought. As it turns out, children with depression come from depressed families and many children with some of the autism spectrum disorders do too. When PET (positron emission scans) are done on the brains of kids with depression and kids with autism, it turns out that both illnesses show less or no mirror neurons.

Mirror neurons are made, and grow, by children mirroring the mood, affects, and behavior of those around them. After learning this it made perfect sense to me that my 11 year old grandson had a hard time with normal speech, interaction with other people and is labeled autistic. His father had a lot of the same kind of problems as a child and seemed to be locked in to TV and video games a lot more than other kids. Also, Jason's Dad had a lot of problems with depression as a child, and maybe still does.

It made me wonder about Jamie Beth...I wonder how her mirror neurons are developing?

President's Day

2010-02-15T09:58:00.002-06:00

The few of you who read my blog know my politics. This morning at Morning Mass, the priest (a very sweet and holy Monsignor from Germany who bears and uncanny resemblance to Pope Benedict, white hair and all) emphasized in his homily the importance to pray for our President. Well, Obama is not MY president and I didn't vote for him, but I agree with the pastor. So today I offer all my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings for the following:

That Obama will convert to true Christianity (not Reverend Wright America-hate)
That he will be massively converted to the gospel of Life
That he will stop messing around with America's Constitutional rights and freedoms
That he will stop spending money that is not his.

I also pray that Jesus and Mary will help me to see Obama, the liberals and the enemies of the Constitution, with THEIR eyes and not mine. And that God's holy will be done in everything.

Prayer is the only thing that can truly change anything. Pray with me, will you?

Insights from Ralph Johnson's Funeral

2010-01-13T20:43:00.002-06:00

My husband's dad died Friday. He had been sick for about 2 years - congestive heart failure and kidney failure. He suffered a lot. He was on dialysis and oxygen. He was 83 years old; a WWII veteran (Navy, too young by a couple of years to see action just after Pearl Harbor, but caught the end of the war in 1943 - 45).

He was a devout Baptist. He was truly one of the "greatest generation" and taught me some things which I'd like to share here.
The text the pastor used at the funeral was from Thessalonians 4:11 "also, make it your ambition to live quietly, to mind your own business and to earn your living from your own efforts, just as we told you. Then your daily life will gain the respect of outsiders, and you will not be dependent on anyone."

This describes Ralph (and his son) so well...often he worked two and even 3 jobs to make ends meet (although his main one was a US Postal Service letter carrier).
The insights I got came on the way home from the funeral. My 24 year old daughter Heather went with us, because her car had some problems. On the way home she talked nonstop about politics, war, peace, religion (she believes it is just "her and God") as so many people do nowadays. Neither my husband or I could get a word in edgewise and when we dropped her off at her apartment we were exhausted. I said "honey, was I ever like that, please I hope not". He said carefully "let me tell you something your dad said once to me about you...he said "Judy is a living expert and authority on everything". Needless to say this was difficult to take..but I did. I asked him "do I still do that" and he said "yes but not as bad as you once did".

So I thought about the living quietly part of Ralphs life, and how could I apply it. I am really going to try hard to catch myself LISTENING instead of talking.

Then, at Mass this morning the reading was about God calling the prophet Samuel as a little boy. Several parts of the story impressed me.
Samuel 3:1 - "now, in those days God rarely spoke, and visions were few." Then, as now, was it that God wasn't speaking, or were we not listening? I don't listen very well.
Further on in the reading it states that God kept calling Samuel, and he kept thinking it was Eli, the old priest who he lived with and served; but it was God and finally the old priest realized it and told the boy "next time He calls answer and say "speak, Lord, Your servant is listening".

How this applies to me is that the Lord speaks to me often, and instead of listening and obeying, I go to my friends or priests or others I consider as holy and I ask THEM what to do instead of listening to God...I'm not saying I'm a saint or a prophet....far, far from it...I am a sinner who listens and disobeys. Pray for me, and I will pray for you.

New Year's Resolutions

2009-12-30T15:29:00.003-06:00

Do you write New Year's Resolutions? I do. I don't know where the tradition began, but I have always thought it's a good one.

So, here goes:
Judy's 2010 Resolutions
1. To be kind to everyone I meet especially people I don't like.
2. To be truthful to everyone, even in kindness. Lying is not loving kindness, even though it seems like it.
3. Not to get overcommitted. I did that this year. It did not turn out well.
4. Not to spend money on anything but necessities. I think this will surprise me.
5. To go to Medjugorje if it is God's Will.
6. To cook more and eat out in restaurants and fast food places less.
7. To go to Confession more
8. To fast on Wednesdays and Fridays as the Blessed Mother requested at Medjugorje
9. To pray the Liturgy of the Hours every day especially when I don't feel like it.
10. Daily Mass, every day.
11. To pray all 4 sets of Mysteries of the Rosary (Joyful, Luminous, Sorrowful, and Glorious) every day, for our country, and for the unconverted.
12. To be more committed and involved in the fight against abortion.
13. To be faithful in tithing and generous in giving.

Thats about it; I will keep you posted how it goes.

Changes In Plans

2009-12-22T14:28:00.003-06:00

We have had a change in Christmas plans. We called the kids to tell them when we were having Christmas dinner and opening presents, and as it turned out, only one set of kids (Jaime and David) were planning on coming. LeighAnne and Jimmy are mad at me because of what I said about LeighAnne in my blog. Patrick and Jessica were not sure they would have to work. (both of them work at Walgreen which is open on Christmas). Heather is not coming because she is so mad at LeighAnne over the destruction and trashing of the $69,000 house that my parents bought for LeighAnne and Jimmy. They had a legal contract to keep the place clean and paint and improve it. I do not need to go into all that again!

LeighAnne does not seem to understand that it was not my parents, or me, that trashed the house, got behind in the rent and wound up with the house so filthy that the floors were eaten out by roaches and the refrigerator caught on fire with roaches in it.
It was not ME that let my son urinate in the closets of the house. It was not ME that refused to paint the house even though that was part of the contract in renting the house from my father.
It was not me that hoarded charity food that brought more roach eggs in. It was not ME that called CPS because a 6 month old baby could not learn to crawl or roll or play on the floor because she was terrified by all the roaches. It was not me who refused to let the pest control company in to spray for roaches and then got upset when they told my father, who was paying for the service, paying the utilities and now has lost money trying to help these kids who seem to think that everyone owe's them something.

My husband and I will be going to his parents in Amarillo to have Christmas at the nursing home with his mother, and visit his very ill father whose health is failing rapidly. We will take the kid's presents to them on Christmas Eve. We have bought clothes for the grandkids and some really good presents for all the kids. We have spent over $2000 on Christmas for the kids this year. My husband has given each of the kids $750 either in helping with rent, or just monetary gifts because all of them are having a hard time right now.

Christmas Is Coming, Rejoice!

2009-12-17T21:22:00.002-06:00

It is almost Christmas. This is my favorite time of the year besides fall in general. I love Christmas for many reasons the most important being, the birth of Jesus. Jesus my Lord, Savior, friend, confidante, God. It is remarkable that all over the world, even though nowadays it is not politically correct to mention Jesus and Christ; still everyone seems to be having holiday feelings. In view of recent events in the family, I am hoping that all my kids and daughters in law will get along well on The Day. We are blessed with all the kids working, and both Jerry and I working.
Tonight I cleaned house because I've been waiting for Heather to come help me, but she is remodeling Jimmy and LeighAnne's former house for my Dad, so she is probably not going to be able to clean my house before Christmas. She has a housecleaning business and for about the past year I've been paying her each month to clean for me.

Karate and Jesus

2009-12-09T14:17:00.003-06:00

At a retreat this weekend during a prayer session, the question of my doing karate came up. In case you are new to this blog you should know that every question in my life is usually settled by some application to "would Jesus or the Blessed Mother do this?" I have recently blogged about passing my last brown belt test, how difficult it was, etc. ad nauseum. My spiritual director, myself and several other ladies on the retreat left the retreat feeling strongly that Jesus was asking me to give up karate. However, I now disagree with that feeling or idea and have done some hard praying and thinking about it. I put some of those ideas in writing and here they are.

For those of you not familiar with martial arts, it may help you to know that martial arts like karate and tae kwon do are mainly defensive, not offensive, arts. They are meant, in their true purpose, to help persons in unarmed situations to defend their lives or the lives of those they are responsible for in dangerous times. They are also a self discipline which (more in the Orient than in the West) teach the values of: meditation, self discipline, perseverance, fortitude, honest self assessment and upright living. Not to mention that, by the time one trains to the level I'm at now, one is in DARNED GOOD SHAPE.

OK. All that aside. Why do I do karate? Jesus probably would not have chosen it. His Mother definitely would not. I can't think of any Saints who have been martial artists (well, there's Saint Michael the Archangel) although I can think of many who have been soldiers and fighters.

Here's why (please understand I'm developing these as I pray, and I'm not finished yet):

1. It's FUN!
2. Strength...the training requires running, bag workouts, sit ups, and pushups, squats, and lots of other exercises to keep in shape for the sparring part
3. Conditioning - see #2 above.
4. In training for my latest test, which was, without a doubt, the hardest thing I have ever done since having my last child 24 years ago, I found out these things about myself:

Karate, like nothing else has ever done, helps me reach into the depths of my soul and find the strength to do things I could not do. It helps me to strive for levels of perfection that I did not think were possible. The endless kata (forms) practice is an aid to meditation and also a form of prayer.
In my life, since I became a Christian at age 13 and a Catholic at age 30, I have always offerred everything, bad and good, to God. Karate is a prayer. I offer any sufferings or pain from it as spiritual warfare against the culture of death and for the souls in Purgatory. I offer it as a prayer for all those who cannot fight and for those who are oppressed and not free.
The black belt degree is not really that important to me. In fact, black belts are sort of new on the scene. In the Orient, martial artists belts were black because they'd been worn for years in all kinds of conditions without being cleaned, and thus became black. Hence the idea that the martial artist was an advanced practitioner. I consider the pursuit of a black belt and beyond it, a great addition to the ascetism, self discipline and work required of anyone who aspires to sainthood.
If Jesus truly wants me to stop doing this sport, He will have to take me away from it in a manner in which I CANNOT do it any more.

The Kids Got Sent Back to the Parents

2009-12-02T16:36:00.002-06:00

Well. My grandkids got sent back to their parents today. It is a blow to those of us who really worry about them. It is a blow to Aunt Jaime and Uncle David, who, after 3 months of raising the children with NO compensation from the State of Texas and little assistance (from us) had gotten a close and trusting relationship with the kids.
What does this mean?
It means Jason will, instead of having a daily routine, loving discipline, attention and training in social skills and manners, will return to a mother whose idea of parenting is to scream at him all day at the top of her lungs and treat him as if he is mentally retarded when, actually, based on her behavior, three previous CPS interventions, her family background and her record of being evicted for filthy houses, is probably the mentally handicapped member of the family.
It means that nine-month old Jamie Beth, who was brought into the world because her mother couldn't stand the idea of another family member getting more attention than she did, has to go back to living life in a car seat all day in a filthy house with a mother who thinks that urinating in closets, poop on the floor, dirty diapers under the couch and millions of roaches, is just a fine way to live.
It means that when this happens again, the children will be put into permanent foster care because CPS probably wont' give them another chance. If the kids are even salvageable by then.
Jason is not autistic. The only times he behaves autistically is when he is with his mother, who EXPECTS him to act handicapped because she needs him to be handicapped so badly.

I pray for these poor children. They deserve much, much better than what they are getting. See my previous posts related to "Dirty House" for the history of the situation

Manhattan Declaration

2009-11-23T09:03:00.002-06:00

I found this link this morning while browsing. It is a Christian site to help Christians stand up for liberty and religious freedom. There is a new button on my blogg that says "Manhattan Declaration". It is an ecumenical declaration that our government will not be allowed to take away our religious freedom.

If you care about issues you can add your signature to this document. Who knows, it may not matter, no one might pay attention to it, but God will take into account your signature.

The Appleseed Project

2009-11-22T19:29:00.002-06:00

This weekend I went to "an Appleseed". What is that, you ask?

An Appleseed is a shooting event sponsored by http://appleseedinfo.org/
which is a nation wide group of people who are dedicated to two things: making sure that every American that wants to learn can safely shoot a rifle; and teaching every American they can the true history of the American Revolutionary War, and our founding RIFLEMEN...the brave, freedom loving people, ordinary folk just like you and I, who; two hundred and twenty-four years ago on April 19th, decided they had had enough taxation without representation and enough tyranny.

The course is FREE for women in 2009. I received two days of instruction using my 0.22 caliber Marlin rifle. I learned to shoot prone (lying down); sitting, and standing. I learned to quickly load my rifle magazines and change them out. I learned to follow military shooting commands. I learned to shoot standing, then sitting down, then standing again, then lying down.

Our targets were for 100, 200, 300 and 400 feet. If you could shoot accurately at all those distances within certain time frames for each shoot, you qualified for the AQS (Army Qualification Score). (I didn't do that, for me this weekend was about improving hitting the paper part of the target...but I improved, so that was good!) There were a troop of Boy Scouts there, high school aged kids. It was heartening to see them there. They were very polite, saying "yes Ma''am" and helping all us older folks with things. There were 3 of those young folks who qualified AQS this weekend!

Then there were two young men who are entering the Marines this year as soon as they graduate high school. How my heart applauded them!

Then there was Brooke. She stole my heart. She is 9 years old and she has her own little pink rifle and her dad brought her out here so she could learn to shoot. She did really well. She is like our ancestor's kids. Our ancestor's kids knew that the only safe gun was the one you knew how to load, shoot and unload safely. They knew guns were necessary for both protection and to get food for the table. They knew that guns were dangerous only in the hands of the wrong people, and that they weren't bad in themselves. They knew that the Bible said "Thou shall not kill" but they also understood the responsibility to defend those who could not defend themselves, and to protect....are you ready for this?.....

LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

I have joined the Appleseed project. Its members vow to become riflemen and to teach others to be. If this seems like something you could do, check out the link!

(Plus, I met some really nice people, and it was really FUN!)

Was he locked in the room?

2009-11-17T13:27:00.002-06:00

I went over to the house today...my daughter Heather is cleaning it up. There were roaches in the dials of the oven. There were so many roaches in the refrigerator and freezer and works of same that the refrigerator caught FIRE last night. There is a pink painted bedroom in the house (Jamie Beths) that we now think LeighAnne was locking Jason in. Because it was obvious from the smell that someone had urinated in the closet hundreds or thousands of times. We aren't sure we will be able to get the smell out.

The kitchen cabinets are totally ruined and all the appliances and counter tops are going to have to be replaced. Several sections of floor in the back room and bathroom (Jimmy's computer hideout) are so roach infested and eaten that they are going to have to be replaced too.

Sad, very sad.

Saw my grandkids today

2009-11-13T23:21:00.003-06:00

Today was the day that my mom and dad came to town to inspect the house that my stepson and daughter inlaw just moved out of. It's a long sad story (see the posts "Dirty House" for some background). My stepson's kids Jason, age 11, and JamieBeth age 8 months now, were moved to their uncle David's home temporarily because of extreme dangerous filth in their home. The Children's Protective Services have removed Jason from the home 3 times now. Once, age 2, when I came over and found him sitting on the floor with a dirty unhealed cut on his foot with roaches crawling on it, eating a piece of pizza with roaches on it, with bags and bags of rotting trash everywhere and dirty diapers stuffed under the couch. Then, when he was five, another removal, this time for the same conditions. Jason has ADHD and supposedly, some form of autism....however, everyone in the family has noticed that when he isn't around his mother, he gets more and more normal all the time.

His mother is extremely invested in Jason being handicapped. Once, at a belt test at the karate school (he used to go to karate with me) she announce LOUDLY to the whole place "THATS MY SON AND HE HAS AUTISM!!!!" Jason is no fool. He's a lot smarter than his mother, that's for sure. He got mad and started whaling at one of the other kids, and I went and held him until he calmed down. The other parents in the karate school and the other kids, were appalled. Mother takes him to Special Olympics this and Special that, but Mom is the Special one. Everything revolves around her. She made great news of the fact that, after 10 years saying she could not have another child because Jason was too much for her, having Jamie Beth. She got pregnant with JamieBeth because she found out that my stepson David's wife Jamie, was trying to get pregnant.

Jamie my 2nd daughter in law, is taking really good care of the kids. They get to live in a clean house for awhile, with an uncle and aunt who put clean food on the table and give them a routine, baths and clean clothes, who don't scream at them all the time. The baby is eating food instead of Ensure and ice cream and french fries, and she is learning to roll and crawl and giggle and make faces, because she can play in a secure house with a clean floor and no cockroaches crawling all over her.

Jamie and David aren't rich...he works in a call center and Jamie has a kindergarten teacher degree and, like many teachers, has had a bit of a tough time finding work this year. But tonight, as we were eating dinner with them, we noticed that Jason made conversation, real conversation, and wanted to please others at the table, and used some manners. And we noticed that the baby is calmer and happier than we've ever seen her.

I pray that these children do not ever have to go back to their mother. It sounds harsh....but we recently found out that LeighAnne cannot read above third grade level. She was visiting Jason and JamieBeth and trying to read "Hank the Cow Dog". She was not able to read it. And that's the really sad part....that this girl's best way of coping with life is to get pregnant the day she graduates from high school (unable to read but amazingly cunning, streetwise and able to tell people what they want to hear) and for the next eleven years, makes life a living hell for the kids she brings into the world, all the while pretending to be the pillar of the Handicapped Children's Mom's Club.

Sigh.

I am at a loss for words. Oh, and, by the way everyone in the family has tried over the years to help my stepson Jimmy and his wife LeighAnne. We have paid utility bills, paid for car repairs, given them cars, bought them food, given them deposits to rent houses every time they were evicted for filth; and then two years ago my Dad bought them this house and hoped that they could use their rent to own status, and the idea that the house was theirs, to give them enough pride of ownership to take care of their home and yard and kids. We have all learned some hard lessons. We don't know yet what's going to happen to the kids. We pray they don't have to go back to LeighAnne. We pray that Jimmy gets help so he can get some self esteem and take some responsibility, but he's 33 years old....how much is he going to change? Can he change?

Karate Belt Test

2009-11-11T21:14:00.002-06:00

Tonight was a milestone. For the past 3 years and 9 months I've been studying tae kwon do. That said, one tae kwon do school is not like all the others. Some emphasize fighting. Some emphasize forms, some have self defense and all are very individualized depending on the system (there are hundreds of different martial arts in the world and all have similarities and differences). My school or dojo is Texas Karate Institute. It is part of a 40 year old or older Texas group of schools founded by some of the people who began martial arts schools in the US back in the sixties and 70s.

My school prides itself on tough fighting arts, street-level self defense training including against weapons, and formal forms of martial arts such as kata (forms or in Korean, poomse) and controlled "one step" sparring.
Students advance in ranks by colored belts: white, yellow, orange, green striped, solid green, blue striped, solid blue (both green and blue have separate tests for striped and solid, involving advancing levels of forms, self defense, kata, controlled one step sparring, and free sparring); brown four stripes, three stripes, two stripes and finally, no stripes, then red belt, and finally black belt. Beginning at black belt, the martial artist can then advance by adding stripes from one to 10. This takes years, and years, and years. Most of the black belts in my school have been martial artists for 20, 30 and 40 or more years.

That said, tonight I tested and passed the fourth level of brown (solid brown). I had to do ten katas, 6 one steps, a self defense circle in which members of the circle took turns attacking me including with knives (rubber ones of course), sticks (padded ones) and fake guns (really thank God)! and then I had to fight everybody that was there once with breaks between for air and water, and finally, what is called "The Line". In the line, the students are lined up from lowest to highest and the one testing fights them all without a break, one at a time, until the Sensei says "end". I had to fight the 6 black belts and two other students, orange and yellow belts in this case, three times through. In my school, if you pass all that and get to the end, and you can't finish the fights, you flunk the whole test and have to do it over. I passed tonight. I am 50 years old, and I passed. I had trouble with a couple of my katas. I knew them at 5 pm before the test. I have done them all before, and everybody knew I knew them. Nonetheless I messed up two of them and I'll have to do them again for the instructors at some point; but, I have passed the test and I will advance to red belt next. If I pass that one, then I will be eligible to test and train for my black belt test. I hope to do that one of these days, I really do!

This test personally, for me, was about not making excuses for anything anymore, and continuing to grow in telling myself the truth about myself.
I offered it up for those veterans who have fought beyond their endurance and their lives to give me my freedoms as an American. I also fought for the unborn, the handicapped and the elderly, who have no one, in many cases, to fight for them in this land of abortion and euthanasia and the culture of death. I offered this test for all those people in states and countries who are not allowed to defend their homes and property, especially England, where one cannot even defend oneself in one's own home, with a knife, against an intruder.

I continue to pray for our nation with my mind, body, heart and soul. May God have mercy on us. Amen.

Supplement to Previous Post/Dirty House 2

2009-10-21T14:01:00.002-05:00

Some people may ask "why did you not take the kids in" (teach them to clean, cook, parent etc) well, we are of the opinion that you raise your children and when they choose to leave home, make adult decisions (like the decision to impregnate their girlfriend and have the baby) then, the kids are saying "I am an adult" (all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding). It is then time for them to learn the lessons of life by reaping the sometimes grim consequences of their actions. Adults do not learn anything when they are bailed out, on welfare, or constantly given handouts. When Jason was first removed from the home when he was 2, I tried to go over and help LeighAnne clean. I could not do it. I got sick. It was too filthy. I could not pick up things off the couch or floor, and have 100 or more roaches swarm out of them, without running away. LeighAnne, I might add, did not even seem to know the roaches were there. I cannot take the kids in, because I have agreed to follow my husband's leading and direction, and he honestly says he does not have the patience or energy to raise another generation of children. I know that there are a lot of people who are raising their grandchildren because of situations like this. I admire them. I wish I had their guts, patience and everything it takes to raise grandchildren. But this situation is going to have to be resolved differently. My husband and I did the best we could.
If you pray, pray for the kids.

A Dirty House

2009-10-21T13:41:00.002-05:00

Three weeks ago, my grandson age 11 and my granddaughter, age 6 months, were removed from their home by Children's Protective Services (this is the third removal for my grandson) and placed with their aunt Jaime and Uncle David temporarily. Their house had 2 inches of living cockroaches, over 20 bags of un emptied trash, dirty diapers stuffed under the couch, hoarded old dated food and months or weeks of dirty laundry and undone dishes. We are not certain how long this has been going on. Three years ago, my father bought this house (paid cash) and has been renting it to own to my son and daughter in law. He has decided to evict them from the house, because they signed a legal agreement to maintain it and keep it clean and they have not done it. My Dad paid the pest control guy monthly to come out and spray, and 9 months ago LeighAnne stopped letting him in. Did she think my Dad did not have to pay him???
My son is 32 years old. He has worked part time in food service since he was in high school. Once, my mom gave him $1300 to go to college with. He took the money and bought a new gaming computer and video games. My daughter in law comes from a family that is very poor and her father is an alcoholic. She has always said "I don't clean house because Jimmy (my son) doesn't help me" (which is true, he doesn't). It always seems to be someone else's fault.
Monday night at 5 pm Children's Protective Services did a psychological evaluation on my son, my daughter in law and my 11 year old grandson to determine if they were competent to be parents, since this is the third removal in 10 years. It is always the same problem: filth and neglect. We haven't heard anything yet.
I should mention that in the 3 weeks since my grandson and granddaughter left their home, Jason has learned to tie his shoes, and seems to be communicating better. JamieBeth, my granddaughter, has learned to crawl and does not have to be held all the time crying. We think she was afraid to crawl, what with all the trash and roaches... poor baby!

We live in interesting times. And, no, my son was not raised to live like this....his dad and I taught him to clean his room, keep up with things and generally help around the house. He married LeighAnne at 18 after dating her from when he was 15 and she was 13, and she had told us for 3 years that she was going to have his baby. It is a very sad, sad situation.

Over Committment

2009-09-19T12:57:00.002-05:00

I realized today that I have once again over committed myself to projects. I realized this while in the middle of a coughing spell while getting up this morning. I came down with bronchitis 2 weeks ago, and my doctor told me it has now turned into pneumonia, and put me on a different antibiotic.

So what am I overcommitted to, you ask?
Work 40 + hours a week seeing sick college kids
Karate at least 4-6 hours a week
A very complicated Celtic quilt top that I started on the spur of the moment about 3 weeks ago
An upcoming signing day for my illustrated book
Trying to get the last of the pumpkins out of my garden
Writing a Baptism lesson for the high school youth group at church
and, as if all of that is not enough:

I have agreed to illustrate a 540-picture graphic novel for a friend of mine. I've never done a graphic novel before, although I have wanted to for a long time. But it all feels like too much.

I will get as much done as I can. Then I am going to start saying "no".

My Friend Quit Her Job

2009-09-01T11:27:00.002-05:00

Okay, so yesterday I found out that one of my friends quit her job. She is a middle aged person like me, kids are grown. She has never worked outside the home while they were growing up, but a couple of years ago, she bought an RV that was way more than she could afford, so she got a job so she could pay for it. She paid off the RV and has put in her notice at work. This led me to thinking about stay-at-home-moms (I have never been able to be one) and my feelings about that.

In my first marriage (which did not last more than a year after I had my first daughter) I was a stay at home mom. I loved it. I wanted nothing more than to stay home with my kids, but divorce ended that dream when my husband left me for another woman (my daughters were one year old and 7 months old at the time). I moved home with my mom and dad for awhile and then remarried my current husband (next month it will be 23 years and very very happy!) but if I had to do it over again, I would have stayed home with our 5 kids, no matter how poor we would have been. I chose to go to nursing school and I am also glad I did that. I have followed the nursing educational track all the way through the Master's degree Nurse Practitioner. I love my job, my patients, my life now. I have everything that American society says one is supposed to have at my stage of life, and I know that it is all a beautiful gift from God, and I am grateful. I am even debt free 100%, who can say that? and I know it is many years of hard work and saving from both my husband and myself that got us here.

But, when I found out my friend had quit her job, it made me insanely jealous and whiny! I have to get up early and go to work every day and she doesn't and blah, blah blah! I could envision myself staying home, making quilts and art and just enjoying my cats and dogs and garden, going to church every day and getting lots of time to pray. Then I stopped myself and realized
that I have chosen this life for now, and I can change it, but I would not have money to help people, or buy nice things, or afford quilt fabric.....or retire someday, hopefully...so for now I will stay in my job!

Jealousy is an ugly thing, it keeps us from seeing the gifts each of us has from God!

Insights about karate

2009-08-27T22:56:00.002-05:00

Today (well, actually last night) I had an epiphany of sorts. I had been to my Wednesday night karate class. There is one black belt instructor there, Ms. G, who I really have tension with. She is a very nice lady, a fantastic martial artist and a good instructor. I haven't ever been able to figure out whether she doesn't like me, or she thinks I am hopeless and don't understand things, or if it's me and my lack of confidence that sets off what seems to be frustration whenever I have to work with her. But last night I realized what it is. I am jealous of her, and I let her intimidate me, and I then allow myself to get frustrated when I have difficulty with her instructions. I've been at this dojo for 3 and a half years, and I'm an older student. Most people in karate are kids, teenagers or young adults. It's a very rough sport and most people age out of it in their forties. I am a brown belt. I will be testing for the fourth and last level of brown belt on September 19th, and I have already failed this level once, because I was unable to spar well enough to keep from getting three ribs broken and a torn cartilage in my knee. It's taken a year to heal up from all that and get back in shape (I am going to be 50 years old on October 15th); and I am both happy to get to try again, but also, intimidated again.
In conversing with a friend of mine who has been a black belt for years and once studied in the dojo I am at now, she said that now, this teacher and I will be able to work together, because just having the insight will probably change my attitude and it will show. I sure hope so. Because I think this has been a key to my difficulties in this sport.

shocking event in UK

2009-08-25T11:39:00.002-05:00

I read this article as I was browsing websites for news. I believe that this is what we can expect (and worse) in this country under Obama.

We need to be marching in the streets for freedom and liberty NOW!

http://catholicexchange.com/2009/08/25/121351/

"The Book"

2009-08-18T21:25:00.002-05:00

Today I met with Don Dykes, aka Eddie Beethoven. He is the author of the book I illustrated. We self published it (see previous posts about this book for how to order it). We have decided to have a book-coming-out party, and we will be having a book signing at the bookstore in Post, Texas sometime in September.

Please go to Amazon or Amazon Booksurge, look at it, order it, see if you like it. If you do, please let me know! We have made $66 in royalties so far, which is not bad for a self published book that has been out less than a month.

Summer Is Over, Back to Work!

2009-08-17T16:49:00.002-05:00

Well, today is my first day back at work after being off work since May 8, 2009. It is good to be back...although I must say that if I could find some way to make a third of my monthly salary while staying home petting cats, making quilts and gardening, I would.

Accomplishments of the summer:
Losing 13 pounds (strict no carb diet, increase in karate workouts and walking/jogging)
Growing a successful 30 x 30 foot vegetable garden
Making a new king sized bed quilt, (pictures will be up soon!)
Enjoying my new grandchild!

Really Present in the Eucharist!

2009-07-30T13:53:00.001-05:00

Today a friend sent me this video from Argentina. It is a medical professor, speaking about a Eucharistic miracle that happened in the 90's. I urge you to watch it. After I watched it, I was in tears and could only pray "Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us."
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbg dhI4XCs

More info about book

2009-07-14T11:02:00.002-05:00

Here is more info about the release of our book "The Land Where All Streams Begin".

Within 2 weeks, the book will be available for purchase on www.BookSurge.com, www.Amazon.com, www.Abebooks.com and www.Alibris.com. Within 3 weeks, your book's listing will appear on www.BooksinPrint.com and www.GlobalBooksinPrint.com.

I hope all of you will consider it for your children or grandchildren!

book will soon be ready!

2009-07-14T09:33:00.003-05:00

Today I gave final approval in the self publishing process to a children's book, written by a friend of mine, Don Dykes. I am the illustrator as well as the purchaser of the self publishing contract.

For those of you in Lubbock who remember the 70s and 80s, he is also known as being the lead singer/guitarist for a band called "Eddie Beethoven and the Sons of Fun" which was a rollicking-good rock and roll band locally...and incidentally he has a new album coming out soon, I hope; more on that later.

The book is titled "The Land Where All Streams Begin" and it is a short chapter book for kids aged about 7 to 10, but it would be really good for reading to younger children too. I am the illustrator. The book will soon be available for purchase on demand from Amazon Booksurge here:

http://www.booksurge.com

I estimate a few days to a week before the book can actually be purchased.

Pumpkins and Peru

2009-07-10T00:38:00.003-05:00

Well, I have resolutely gotten over my sadness at the 4th of July. I have to believe that God is going to take care of us somehow.

In the garden this morning, I noticed that I have about five baby pumpkins now. They are very hard to see among the leaves, but they promise JackOLanterns in October, and that makes me happy somehow. My corn is getting fatter and the tassels are turning brown. My zucchini .... sigh....why do gardeners plant the stuff? I know I will need all those ziplock bags of zucchini in my freezer someday....are there uses for zucchini I don't know about? Can one fire a zucchini from some sort of gun for home self defense? because if you can do that, who needs to worry about bullets to defend our house from burglars?

The tomatoes died. Again.

But there are pumpkins!

And best of all...I got a letter from Emerson. He is a little boy from Peru that I sponsor through a wonderful Catholic charity called the Christian Foundation for Children and the Aging, CFCA for short. He is nine years old. His father makes $150 US dollars equivalent per month loading ships. There are four children in the family, and our sponsorship means that Emerson can go to Catholic school, and get a new pair of shoes and a new set of clothes every year for Christmas. He writes that he was made a "student police" and made the all A honor roll. He says Christmas was beautiful this year because his family went to Mass and worshipped the Baby Jesus....

Love,
thats what it's all about

Sad 4th of July

2009-07-04T10:52:00.002-05:00

Hi and 4th of July to All:

So, why am I calling this sad 4th of July? Because I don't recognize this as the America I grew up in and I think we are headed down the road to being totally socialist and even communist, which is NOT America.

I would like to quote Samuel Adams. In the "Magnificat" daily prayer magazine that I use for morning, evening and night prayer and Mass, this was the meditation for today:

"A general dissolution of the principles and manners will more surely overthrow the liberties of America than the whole force of the common enemy...While the people are virtuous they cannot be subdued; but once they lose their virtue, they will be ready to surrender their liberties to the first external or internal invader...If virtue and knowledge are diffused among the people, they will never be enslaved. This will be their greatest security. " Samuel Adams, Patriot of the American Revolution.

Tea parties, anyone?

cap and tax passed, on to Senate

2009-06-27T14:56:00.003-05:00

I couldn't believe it. I was amazed and shocked. How could anyone in their right mind 1) believe in man made global warming after the last 2 winters we've had and 2) think that something as dangerous, insane and stupid as the cap and tax bill could solve it?

Truly, there is a spirit of deception and insanity. Our politicians have abandoned the will of American people, deserted the Constitution en masse, and are now consolidating their power.

If there is civil unrest, it will just give them an excuse to put those of us who are devoted to our God, clinging to our Bibles, guns and religion, believing in the founding father's intents for the country and the original intent of the Constitution (NOT A FLUID OR DYNAMIC CHANGING DOCUMENT) into concentration camps and in front of firing squads.

Ten dollars to one Obama's health care plan will only be applied to those who support Obama. Those of us who disagree will be left out in the cold. Except for euthanasia of course, they'll only be too happy to rid the world of our conservative old souls.

Welcome to Orwellian 2009, folks, or should I say, comrades?
It's all here and ripe for takeover. Obama is ruling like the African dictator of a third world country, which we soon will be.

Retreat or stay? Survivalism

2009-06-05T03:11:00.002-05:00

I am reading a terrific book right now. It is fiction. The author is James Wesley Rawles, who has a blog here: http://www.survivalblog.com
and is trying to "educate through entertainment". In a future not so distant from our own and maybe coming very soon, a small group of conservative Christian young adults form a survival group and build a getaway retreat in the wilds of Idaho. The story follows them through an economic meltdown, the complete collapse of modern USA infrastructure and society, and ....that's all I'm going to say, except that I can't stop reading it and my eyes hurt, but I'm planning to stay up longer.

It is available at Barnes and Noble, Kindle, Amazon, etc. Read it if you at all can.

My vegetable garden is doing wonderful, surprising even me.
Happy reading.

The Way Things Used To Be

2009-05-13T09:43:00.002-05:00

So, are you longing for "the way things used to be?" and, if you are, what does that really mean to you? Some of the conservatives I know and hear of are longing for the days of Reagan. That would be nice...to have a President who is proud of America, who is not a secret Communist and who doesn't have an entourage of Chicago political thugs and Clinton era Democrats around to enforce his policies. But that isn't really what I'm thinking about today. I'm thinking about the way the world was for Christians during the first 300 years or so of our religion.
You see, I do the Liturgy of the Hours every day. (for you non-Catholics or Catholics who are unfamiliar with this, the Liturgy of the Hours, also called Christian Prayer or the Breviary) is a daily mix of readings from the Church fathers i.e St. Augustine, etc, scripture reading, Psalms, and four readings from the Gospels which are said morning, evening and night and another hour of the pray-ers choice). If you follow this liturgy every day, you wind up reading the Bible including all the Psalms, and all of the Church Fathers, in four or five years. In monasteries and convents, the monks and nuns recite these "hours" of which there are seven: morning (lauds), midmorning, noon, midafternoon, evening (Vespers), and Matins (night prayer), and the Office of Readings, which is done at any time of the day. This summer while I am off work, I am pretending to be in a convent, and I am practicing all seven hours. This morning, I was doing the Office of Readings, and the second reading was a letter from Funk's Book of Martyrs. It was by an unknown writer to someone names Diognetus. I won't quote the whole text here, but the point of the letter is that Christians live in the world, but not of it; we live in every country, but our true home is heaven; we are persecuted everywhere for our faith, but we persevere and grow seemingly because of the persecution.

The writer wrote this, that really hit home:
"the Christian is to the world what the soul is to the body....the body hates the soul and wars against it...because of the restriction the soul places on its pleasures. Similarly, the world hates the Christians, not because they have done it any wrong, but because they are opposed to its enjoyments."

The unknown author describes Christians as "destitute, unable to work because of their faith, killed all day for the sake of Christ....having children but not exposing them; sharing their meals, but not their wives"....and so, I would like to ask the following "food for thought" questions:
1. The persecutions of Christians went on for 300 or more years and that's longer than the USA has existed. Christianity as the way of the world is NOT the usual order. The usual order is violence, death, and martyrdom, false accusations and I posit that the way the MSM is treating conservatives and Christians is just "getting back to basics". What does this mean for you, the reader, and your faith life?
2. What if the Pope couldn't be public because he would be killed? What if the Church only made the news because someone wanted everyone to know what the latest "Christian hate crime atrocity" was that day, and to alert everyone to be on the lookout for the Pope, or the local Bishop or pastor, or ..... YOU.
3. How would we Christians be forced to live if our religion, culture and lifestyle were against the law? in many foreign countries, particularly the Muslim ones, but also in Israel and Palestine, in China and much of Asia, this is the real actuality. Think about what this means for you, now that Obama and his ilk actually have a filibuster-proof majority in Congress and the Senate.

Just some food for thought.
My corn is 3 inches high, my tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers are flourishing, (and so are the weeds) and my zucchini...well...they're spreading.

In the Love of Christ and His Blessed Mother
Judy

My Summer Vacation

2009-05-07T23:27:00.002-05:00

Tommorrow is my last day at work before I start my summer vacation. The garden is planted. All the stuff that I lost when I got my purse stolen is pretty much replaced; I am waiting for my new driver's license, my new nursing license and my new medical insurance card. I've reported everything I can. Nobody has tried to use my checkbook and nobody apparently was able to use my debit card. Thank God, Thank God.
I started reading a murder mystery that I wrote 72 pages of about eight years ago. It is good! I am going to take it up again and try to finish it this summer. Maybe I'll self publish it, or even try to get a traditional publisher interested in it...hmmm.

I wish I was a farm wife and didn't have to work full time. I'd stay home, garden, cook, quilt, write and read...oh, and do karate...and enjoy my dogs and cats...and church...and the Blessed Sacrament, and Adoration, and..and...

You get the picture. VACATION!!!!!

Of gardens and thieves

2009-04-26T20:13:00.002-05:00

Why is it that during the week when I'm at work, inside, the weather is beautiful, no wind, lovely temperatures, but when I am home on the weekend and have plans to work in the garden and get my squash, corn, beans, pumpkins, lettuces, cabbages, tomatoes and onions planted the wind blows so hard I can't risk it with new tomato plants. So I tilled and watered and prepped and continued to "gently harden the tomatoes until they can tolerate the outdoors" as all the gardening web sites say to do.

On Saturday, my purse got stolen. It was my fault. I went to the ladies room at a restaurant we were at for lunch and had a "senior moment" and left my purse hanging in the stall. I didn't realize I'd left it until we were sitting there at Mass (we go to the 5:30 Saturday evening one) and it hit me. In the purse were the following precious things (in order of their real value to my life):
1. My $150 pure amber rosary that my husband bought me as a birthday gift last year; as Fr. Corapi advises "I never leave home without it".
2. My DEA prescribing authorization card for narcotics
3. My Texas DPS prescribing authorization card for narcotics and all other medications
4. My US Passport
5. My shot record and birth certificate
6. My debit card
7. My checkbook
8. My driver's license
9. My Texas Concealed Handgun License
10. My address book/organizer with names, addresses, phone numbers, calendar, computer passwords and logon information and my class schedule for the nurse practitioner meeting in Nashville in June.

I am praying to St. Anthony and Padre Pio for this to be found unused and intact but I am a realist, and have notified everyone I could.

Losing America? not if we act

2009-04-15T13:22:00.002-05:00

Today is Tea Party Day all over America. I think it is something that should have happened a long time ago. We are gathering, the ordinary, working, tax paying citizens of America, to say that we are fed up; that we have had enough. We have had enough of government that should not ever have been allowed to take our money in the first place - it is unconstitutional. There is NOTHING in the US Constitution to allow the government to take the money we earn. The only reason we should pay taxes is to support the roads (maybe); the militiary (definitely) and to make sure that our elected representatives have a place to meet. Anything else is socialism. I agree with Rick Perry, the governor of Texas. Our government pays no attention to the wishes of the people that support it. They let in illegal immigrants and will not even try to prosecute the ones that commit crimes. They continue to hand out money with the bail outs and welfare to people who have no intention of getting a job even if they could. Most of the people in Obama's administration are Chicago political thugs, crooks and tax cheaters. $300,000,000 of our tax money goes to help Planned Parenthood committ abortions, which is an outrage. We are now supporting a President who BOWS to Saudi kings and believes that we should talk to dictatorships like Iran and North Korea, but who will not listen to opposition from his own country, and who sends police out to arrest people who have anti-Obama bumper stickers on their cars.
I, for one, believe the IRS needs to be abolished. We need the Fair Tax. We need to have unlimited and unrestricted gun ownership and rights. There is no provision in the Constitution to take people's rights to guns away from them: except that the government is afraid of the people, because they KNOW they have become, as Mark Levin says, a soft tyranny.
Stand up! Stand up today and every day. Don't let anyone take away your American freedoms and don't let fear of Obama, his goons and his Acorn squads stop you from being an American.

Two Kinds of People

2009-04-12T10:57:00.002-05:00

Happy Easter! Christ is risen, He is risen indeed!

Last night, a very rare and lovely thing happened (besides the Vigil Mass for Easter at St. John Neumann parish where my husband and I go to church). It rained.
Real rain, coming VERTICALLY from the sky. For those of you not familiar with West Texas and Eastern New Mexico, rain around here is usually horizontal, mixed with large quantities of dirt, and driven by 50 to 70 mph wind. But yesterday and last night, it rained, really rained, all night. It was badly needed and we are grateful to God for it. It has been since last August or September that we had any rain here.
Of course, all this got me thinking about my garden plans. I am going to try to grow vegetables this summer. Since we have two Great Pyrenees dogs, the first order of business in gardening is putting up a fence. I have a little 30 foot by 30 foot area out in the lot next door (which we own, and the dogs help us fertilize) and I am going to put up a wire fence with T-posts).
I asked my husband to help me drive the t posts into the ground. I am 5 feet tall, I weigh (unfortunately) 130 pounds and none of it is muscle, my karate activities notwithstanding. The driving tool for the T posts is 25 pounds by itself and the way you have to hold it to get the posts into the ground is probably going to mean that I won't be physically able to do that part of the job.
So my husband and I are talking about this at breakfast, and he is very against this idea of my having a garden (he thinks that he will have to do all the work).
Now, part of the reason I'm having this garden is because I can see hard times on the horizon, and I want to be able to grow some of my own food for any number of reasons. My husband can also see the hard times coming but he's one of those people my friend Larry says that have the attitude "I am going to keep on living the way I am until I can't anymore". I am the other kind...when I see changes coming, I try to get ready for them. I don't know if my attitude works better than my husband's "take it as it comes" attitude...but there is this difference between us.

Blogging From Work

2009-04-06T09:51:00.004-05:00

It is Monday morning, and today is actually April 6, not yesterday as I posted erroneously. Today is Day 2 of my unplanned, husband-gone-to-Boston Holy Week Retreat. I have been thinking about fighting in all its many forms: karate sparring (something I need to get better at); spiritual warfare i.e, the Rosary, constant prayer, saying the breviary, living the Christian life in front of others (also something I need to get better at) and all the many activities a Catholic Christian can take part in (pro-life efforts, political activism even if it's just letter writing to one's representatives, for instance).

Father Frank Pavone of Priests for Life said it so well: "when we think about "the gates of hell not prevailing against the Church" we realize that GATES DO NOT MOVE...this means that it is us, the Church militant, on the attack against forces of evil; and Christ, our leader, has assured us of victory." What a thought to put in my heart and keep during this week of the Passion of Christ!

Those of you who are close to me know of my trials and travails trying to learn tae-kwon-do (how is that for a tongue-twister?) and most of these center around sparring...yesterday a few of us ladies from my dojo got together with one of the black belt instructors and worked on this for 2 hours. I learned that I need to keep my hands up to protect my head and face, and that I need to keep moving...and that I need to be kicking and punching at the same time as blocking. All of this is quite stressful for me even when I am in an all-female, non threatening informal class situation....all the more reason for more practice at what I am afraid of, and not less.

Kind of the same situation with my prayer life - more practice, not less. Being alone this week will give me that opportunity, please pray that I do not waste it!

I'm on Retreat...Sort of...

2009-04-05T21:05:00.002-05:00

It is Palm Sunday night, April 6. Jerry and I went to the Saturday night Mass last night. Holy Week has begun. It is the 19th anniversary of my conversion to the Catholic Church, and, as I always am, I feel blessed and grateful that Jesus brought me into His Church, and I love being a Catholic Christian!

This morning, after the cats woke me up at 7:30 (although I had gotten up at six to say goodbye to my husband, who is in Boston for a week) I realized it would be a good time to spend the week, besides my work, in a sort of Passion Week retreat. I normally pray the Liturgy of the Hours (my customary ones are the Office of Readings, Morning Prayer, Evening Prayer, and Night Prayer) but I decided today to try to dedicate the whole week to Jesus. I am just now watching Pope Benedict's Palm Sunday Mass from Rome on EWTN. The two cats are watching it too. My husband arrived in Boston safely, and called me a little while ago.

So what did my Palm Sunday retreat day consist of? Well, I prayed and had coffee at home with the cats. Then I went to JoAnne Fabric and got the material for the baptism gown I am making for my new granddaughter, Jamie Elizabeth Johnson. She is barely 3 weeks old and she looks like my stepson Jimmy, dark haired with lovely long dark eye lashes like his and his dad's...

At 3 pm I went to the karate dojo and myself and three other ladies who study taekwondo with me worked out. We did a bunch of conditioning stuff and we sparred for about an hour. I am tired but it's good tired. I dedicated my karate to Jesus and Mary for an end to abortion and as my part in the fight against the culture of death, and all the nefarious and horrible things that not only are going on in our own government since Obama and the Abortion Democrats have taken over, but for the whole world. I also offered all my work, joy, suffering (if you think sparring at karate with a Red Belt and a Black Belt and a Green Belt who is a lot younger than me is not suffering....well....ahem) and activities today for the souls of all those people that were murdered on Friday, including aborted babies, those who were shot in the New York killings, and all old folks who were euthanized.

May God have mercy on our souls.

Tea Parties and the 912 movement

2009-03-29T16:33:00.002-05:00

I joined the Lubbock Tea Party today. It is part of a nationwide movement begun by Glen Beck, to take back America from the socialist movement now in power. The link to join is here:

http://www.meetup.com/WeSurroundThemGathering/

I hope at least that the true conservatives in America, who still believe in what the founders of this nation established, can make our voices not only heard, but dominant, once again. I fear for America in the current administration. I fear for my grandchildren and my children. Their freedoms and their opportunities are gone, unless we act.

Grand Canyon Pictures

2009-03-27T18:00:00.002-05:00

Okay, I told you all that I would share our vacation pictures from last week's trip to the Grand Canyon. Here they are, in Kodak slideshow format. Hope you enjoy them!

http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLanding.action?c=irmegvo.ahxaylqg&x=0&y=-gam3g8&localeid=en_US

Also, I'd like to let you know about the fantastic book I am reading that I picked up at the Canyon. It is by Michael Ghiglieri and Thomas Myers. Ghiglieri is a Northern Arizona University professor who has done search and rescue in the Grand Canyon for years; Myers is a wilderness medicine doctor at the Grand Canyon clinic in the Grand Canyon Village at the South Rim. The title of the book is apt: "Over the Edge: Death in the Grand Canyon". It is an exhaustive compendium of every death known to have occurred in the Canyon, and why - death by falls, environment (overheating, freezing); deaths by drowning, deaths by other misadventures. The authors' goal in writing it was to try to figure out if there are common trends that cause people to meet their Maker in this location and if they could be preventable. So far I've come up with some conclusions:
1. Males have the worst luck, especially the ones who are aged 15 through about 70. They do things like seeing how far they can pee over the edge of the Canyon (deaths by falls); turn around backwards to take pictures of something and fall over the edge; decide to hike solo, decide they don't need 9 liters of water per person per day in the summer (this is a conservative estimate for the Grand Canyon in the greater than 120 degree temperatures of summer); rafting, boating or swimming the 280+ miles of the most treacherous rapids/underwater rocks, teeth, holes etc in the US without a life jacket.
2. Women err in the Canyon by not being in good enough shape when hiking, water rafting, boating or trying to swim. Many women have died in the Grand Canyon because they were attached to men who were doing the above testosterone driven activities.
3. People seem not to understand that when they get a back country permit for the Canyon, they need to follow what they told the NPS (National Park Service) what they were going to do and where. There are not enough rescue personnel to cover the Canyon all the time.
4. The Grand Canyon is a wild, scenic, beautiful, harsh and dangerous place. It is "nature red in tooth and claw" in the utmost. The authors are quick to point out that too many visitors to the Canyon seem to think they are in Disneyland, and that someone will rescue them when the have misadventures there. They come ill prepared for the hot summers, cold winters, extreme weather changes, flash floods, dangerous rivers and dangers from rattlesnakes, falls, lack of water/food/shade. and then they die. If lucky enough to be rescued, they often put their rescuer's lives at extreme risk as well.

All in all, an incredible read, and an incredible vacation. I highly recommend both the book and the trip.

Of Grand Canyon vacations, and Contraception

2009-03-27T09:56:00.006-05:00

Last week was spring break, and as a university employee, I got to take a vacation. We went to the Grand Canyon. We took our 1991 Toyota motorhome and drove to Williams, Arizona and then spent 2 nights there, one day of which was riding the Grand Canyon Railway up to the South Rim and back down. The trip is one I highly recommend for anyone, and especially for people with kids who are old enough to make good memories. The train is owned by a private company who buys up 1940s and 50s passenger cars and refurbishes them. We road coach class but the seats were large enough for my 280+ pound husband and myself to be comfortable in ONE SEAT and the service was amazing. There are first class cars and a dome observation car available if you want to pay the price. The route goes due north from Williams and is through some of the most beautiful scenery in America. On the train, they put on a cowboy/country music show. The performers were music teachers who use the trains to make extra money. They were superbly funny, entertaining and talented.

Upon arriving at the Canyon we got 3 hours to hike the Rim and take pictures. I hope you enjoy the slide show here

and on the way home, they staged a "train robbery" complete with two or three bandits who went from car to car, taking tip money, and a sherriff in hot pursuit, who collected tips himself.

Altogether a fantastic vacation.

If you are in Williams there is also a very, very excellent restaurant called the Line Country Cafe. It is right across the street from the old Williams railway depot, which is now the town's visitor center. It features PIE and I will not say any more, except that I have never eaten pie anywhere that I had to take half of my piece home in a doggy box because I could not finish it.
The prices at the restaurant are quite reasonable.
The hotel that is featured on the http://www.grandcanyonrailroad.com site is very expensive and to my mind, a lot over done, but the area around Flagstaff/Cameron/Williams is full of other more reasonably priced options.

Now to my other posting topic: contraception. As some of you know I work in a university health
clinic, and 60 to 70% of my job is womens health (think annual gyneological exams, STD treatment, and prescribing birth control). It is the prescribing of birth control that I have a major problem with...as a Catholic I am not supposed to do it. I do not want to do it. My personal opinion as regards birth control is this:
1. Before birth control, people had to be a lot more careful. Morals were better. There was more stigma with crisis pregnancies. After birth control, all of a sudden it was like there was a license to sin (Pope John the 23rd said this, in Humanae Vitae).
2. When I prescribe birth control I am non verbally telling the girl: "it's ok not to respect your body and yourself. It's ok to think of a child as a burden and not a blessing"
3. I am non verbally condoning one of the things that the Catechism of the Catholic Church is adamant about: the respect and love that the Catholic Christian must show to each and every human person. In effect, I am telling the girls that it is okay to go through life thinking that the only way that they can get and keep a man is to have sex with them at the drop of a hat. I am further communicating through them to their partners that "it is okay to treat women like things, like objects for your pleasure, since you wont have to be a father anyway".
4. (and final) I object to contraception because, if it prevents implantation of a fertilized embryo, now many abortions have I caused, and how many babies will I have to answer to God for?

I am considering quitting my job, but as of this moment I (and several friends) are praying for clarity, because this year alone I have also talked three women out of having abortions and have changed several young ladies minds about whether or not they needed birth control.

On the road for spring break

2009-03-15T22:42:00.002-05:00

We (my husband and I) are on vacation for spring break. We are headed to the Grand Canyon RV Park at Williams, Arizona, and will be spending three nights and two days touring the Canyon on the vintage narrow guage Grand Canyon Railroad. I will post our pictures as we continue. Today we are in Flagstaff, AZ at the KOA campground. We will be visiting the Ganado Trading Post and Museum on the Navajo Nation (reservation) on our way home... I was a youth missionary there in high school (I was Presbyterian back then) and wanted my husband to see this beautiful culture and part of our country.

An Explanation is Overdue

2009-03-08T13:28:00.002-05:00

I need to explain the pictures of Cardinal Stafford and Father James. In December of 2007 we were blessed by getting to go to Rome to celebrate my longtime friend and spiritual director, Monsignor Joseph William James' 50th anniversary of priesthood. He was classmates with Cardinal Stafford at the North American College and they were ordained the same year. We got to meet the Cardinal (whom I hope and pray is either the next Pope or extremely influential in God's choice of the next one) and he is a wonderful, down to earth lovely person.
My husband does pewter casting, and had cast medals for us pilgrims designed after the St. Peter's Basilica Holy Spirit window. Cardinal Stafford got a medal from me, and said "I will prize this as much as I prize my crucifix". Altogether, an awesome trip. Thank you, Lord, and thank you, Monsignor James!

Pro-life video

2009-03-08T13:00:00.001-05:00

Beautiful video!

A Lenten Retreat

2009-03-08T11:58:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, my parish women's group held a Lenten Day of Retreat. The purpose was to help us examine our consciences during the penitential season of Lent and to help us reflect on how we're doing in our Christian walk.

The speaker was a local deacon, Leroy Behnke. Leroy is a huge (6 ft, 6 inches tall, 300 + pounds) teddy bear kind of guy. His preaching skills are legendary, his kindness is unsurpassed and his joy and love of life are a shining light. So, a chance to go and hear him teach was something not to be missed, even after a hard work week and not really wanting to get up very early.

So; a short summary:

Background: The Stuff That Works
As Catholics, the Sacraments are the stuff that works: go to Mass. Read the Bible. Pray. The Christian life is about each person's relationship with Jesus. Jesus wants each of us to know Him in this life, so we can be with Him in eternity forever. We can't know Him unless we pray. We can't follow Him unless we know His teachings.

Leroy likes to teach using songs (he's a wonderful worship leader and guitarist, and his wife Patty sings beautifully), and then outlines his talks using acronyms. He used two acronyms for this retreat:

A Focus On Discipleship:

Fellowship: Hebrews 10: 23-25 and John 17:21
To attend Mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation and rest from servile (what you do for a living) works
To observe the days of abstinence and fasting
To confess our sins to a priest, at least once a year
To recieve the Holy Eucharist at least once a year during Easter season
(to receive Jesus only ONCE A YEAR????)
To contribute to the support of the Church
To obey the laws of the Church concerning matrimony
To participate in the church's mission of evangelization

Obedience: 1 John 5: 2, 3 (THE BEATITUDES AKA "The Be Happy Attitudes)

Charity: James 2: 15
Seven keys to the good life: Principles of Catholic Social Doctrine
Life and Dignity of the Human Person
Call to Family, Community, and Participation
Rights and Responsibilities: Speak up, and STAND UP!
Option for the Poor and Vulnerable
The Dignity of Work and the Rights of Workers
Solidarity
Care for God's Creation

Understanding: Study the Faith (2 Timothy 3: 14 - 17)
The foundation of the Faith: The Apostle's Creed
Spirituality: Pray and Worship: (Galatians 6:7-8)
The ACTS of Prayer
Adoration
Confession
Thanksgiving
Supplication

The answers to prayer:
Yes: the request is good, and God thinks you are ready
No: the request is not good for the eternal salvation of your soul
Grow: the request is good, but the petitioner is not ready
Slow: Request is good, petitioner is ready, but the situation is not ready.

Leroy also taught us a simple anacronym for using when we are examining our conscience:
The Deadly PALEGAS
Pride
Anger
Lust
Envy
Gluttony (which also applies to picky, in-your-face, holier than thou vegans!)
Avarice
Sloth

Altogether a fantastic retreat.

Aside: my dear "fix everything and keeping bad stuff away" husband came home from Ohio last night and the cat can now let me sleep at night....she is attached to him. Her twin sister got hit by a car as I previously posted; so she will be in the veterinary hospital for the majority of this week.

Our new granddaughter, Jamie Elizabeth, is going to arrive Thursday or Friday, my daughter in law is being induced early, due to her amniotic fluid being low. Pray for a good delivery and a healthy child. Jamie Elizabeth's big brother, Jason, is 10 years old, has some form of severe ADHD/autism spectrum disorder, and his parents have had very difficult challenges raising him, not so much because of him, but because of their own challenges and immaturities. I am delighted to be welcoming a new family member and will keep you all posted on her!

He Who Keeps Bad Stuff Away

2009-03-05T22:09:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I wrote about my husband and his good qualities. When I got home from an extremely difficult clinic day (I am now a nurse practitioner who spends my work days in a university student health clinic, and it is still flu season) I found that someone had not seen my black and tortoiseshell cat Electra, and had run over her. She was alive, having dragged herself into the garage through the cat door. She seemed unbloody but in shock. I rushed her to the all night emergency vet clinic and she was found to have a broken pelvis and left hip. To prevent internal organ damage, she is going to have to have surgery. She's in the good hands of Dr. Randy B., who has taken good care of many of our large family's numerous animals for the past 22 years. I have had two essentially sleepless nights and this looks to be another, because Electra's twin sister Angel is grieving her loss and cannot find her sister anywhere, so everytime I try to sleep she wakes me up with her crying.

The last time my husband went away for training on a machine, the refrigerator broke down. Another time, the water line broke to my washer and flooded the whole house.

So I have become convinced, because of the smoothness that everything runs with when my mechanic geek DH is home, that he actually has the gift of preventing, or holding at bay, negative events. At least it seems that way .... or maybe I am just missing him dreadfully.

I love you Jerry
and I'm praying for your safe return!

Let Us All Praise Good Men!

2009-03-04T16:51:00.003-06:00

It is a slow work afternoon and almost time to leave my clinic. My husband is in Ohio this week for work training. He is one of the people that fixes airport security equipment. I miss him, and I hope he returns home safely. We've been married 22 years next October. I call him my Jerry-Bear because he is one of those big, easy-going, "everything is like water-off-a-duck's-back" to him. I am definitely the Type A easy to stress out one of our marriage. I find myself thanking God that He gave me this wonderful, wonderful man. We never have to get a plumber, electrician, handyman or re-modeler in our home, because my DH can do all these things. He is slow about it (unless it involves the refrigerator or a dryer or washer - clean clothes and food matter a lot) and he also fixes and maintains all of our cars. He's one of those people who, when we're driving with the windows down, will hear a passing car and say " this or that thingamagicy (he doesn't say that of course, he says the actual problem but I can't talk CAR) is wrong and in every instance where we actually have helped with a car problem, he is 100% right based on his "diagnosis by ear" method. He claims to not have an ear for music, but he played the trumpet in high school and they didn't throw him out of the band, so I think there must be hidden talent there. He can also whistle; something I've never been able to do.

Let's see what else I can extol: he is a fantastic stir-fry cook. He's great with babies (puts them to sleep instantly); he is NOT a sports fanatic or even a sports FAN; he likes the same music I do and it doesn't matter what he gets for Christmas...he likes it.

Let us all praise good men!!!

My Conversion Story/Silent No More

2009-03-02T19:55:00.004-06:00

This is not a difficult thing for me to write or talk about any more, but it is for some people. I'm writing it tonight so that if there are any people reading this who have had an abortion they will know that there are a lot of us in the blogosphere who have had abortions. Some of us are getting a lot more vocal about our experience, what happened, and what we are like now.

I believe that God used the after effects of my abortion to lead me home to the Catholic Church, and so I have decided to give you the short version of my conversion story along with my post abortion testimony, because the two events, in my view, are linked.

I was adopted, along with my twin sister and a triplet who 3 weeks later died, at three months premature. We've found our birth family, and there are another set of twins (they were triplets too) and three "singles". Our mother kept all the other kids and gave myself and my twin up, in a privately arranged adoption. We were raised in a loving home. Dad had been Catholic, but left the Church to marry Mom, because she really could not bring herself to convert to Catholic for him. She was raised Methodist, and the belief that Catholicism was a bunch of superstition was too ingrained I guess. As we grew up, we would attend Catholic weddings, funerals, wakes etc with our paternal relatives, and I loved it. When I was 13, we visited the home of one of Dad's uncles, who was a part of the crowd of 70,000 who witnessed the sun miracles at Fatima. The home was a shrine to all things Catholic. I had just had my "born again" experience in the Presbyterian church we attended, and now my love for Jesus was arousing my curiousity about other forms of Christianity. I now believe that Uncle was praying for me from Heaven.
All through high school I was a good kid, but in college I rebelled: sexual promiscuity, pot, drinking, and all the drama and pathos that went with it. At 19, I got pregnant. It was the usual: "I just don't see how we can have a baby now". So my mom got me into the abortion mill in Roswell, NM and I had an abortion at 6 weeks gestation. I immediately (cannot emphasize this enough)immediately fell into a depression that did not end until I went through two rounds of eating disorder/addiction rehab, years of therapy, a failed marriage, a second marriage (this one is a success thanks be to God!) and finally, in 1998, 18 years after the fact, a Rachel's Vineyard retreat, the depression left me.
I became Catholic after the second round of bulimia inpatient treatment in 1989. I was working a 12 Step Program and it led, as they say, to a spiritual awakening. I started reading everything I could get my hands on about Catholicism. Finally in 1990, I read "Medjugorje: The Message" by Wayne Weible. I realized I could believe everything the Church taught except the doctrines regarding the Blessed Mother. So, one night after having taught myself to pray the Rosary, (someday I will blog about my miserable RCIA and how I taught myself the Catechism without one) I said "Mary if you are real make me know it". Immediately I was surrounded by the sweetest and strongest female presence I had ever been aware of. I knew in my heart of hearts that all the Church teaches about Her is the truth, and I have been a devout, Charismatic, Rosary praying, daily-as-often-as-able Mass goer since. Last year, my dear husband Jerry converted to the faith after 17 years of my praying for him.

Don't give up. Don't be afraid. Keep praying.

Conscience Protections Reversal

2009-03-02T13:04:00.003-06:00

Well, this blog has been inactive for quite awhile (since before we went to Rome). I am re-activating it because I feel strongly called to start blogging and writing about all of the issues that are so crucial to our souls right now: life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and the freedoms that have always made America great. Our Constitutional liberties are being ripped out from under us at an astonishing rate. "Change" is happening so rapidly it is hard to keep up with it. The economy is tanking at an unbelievable rate, and nobody seems to know what is going to happen next.

The thing that concerns me the most right now is abortion. Abortion is the blood sacrifice that makes it possible for all of the other decay and erosion of values and righteousness in our society. Nobody (except a few priests) really want to call this for what it is; since I don't have any such fears I am now calling it.

I read on CNN on Saturday that Obama is going to reverse the conscience protections that allow health care professionals to refuse to participate in, refer for or practice any medical practices, such as abortion, prescribing birth control, or other such things without having to worry about losing their jobs or being sued. Not only this, if the CNN article is correct, pro-life practitioners of medicine and nursing such as myself, will be able to be sued for malpractice if we refuse to participate!

Aside from the unbelievability of this action (how can any government and/or politician(s) that have the audacity to call themselves Christians deny and oppose the God-given human right to follow one's conscience? the impact on the nation's medical care will be unbelievable. Does Mr. Obama and his cronies even have any idea how many physicians, nurse practitioners and nurses will be leaving their professions over this? Does he realize what this will do to the economy?

When Obama won the election, I thought it would probably be bad. I had no idea how bad. Pray, pray, pray....especially the Rosary.

Finally Saw Bella

2007-11-23T21:02:00.000-06:00

My DH and I just got back from the movie "Bella" (Eduardo Aristequi) which I dragged him to. Wow.
Artistic
Beautifully filmed
Fantastic music
Fantastic acting
Truth
Life
Hope

Go see it.

Thanksgiving over. Go To Work!

2007-11-22T23:30:00.001-06:00

Tommorrow is another workday. My company, Physician Network Services, has opened two grocery store clinics in Lubbock. They opened them without enough full time staff so a lot of the NP's and PA's in the corporation have been earning extra Christmas money by helping to staff them.

I also work part time in a minor emergency center which is also a family practice clinic. My collaborating doctor is a great guy who has been practicing for thirty years and has taught me more in the year and two months I have been a nurse practitioner than I learned in 16 years of an RN career and four and one-half years of grad school.

I have agreed to work pretty much every day until December 9th because my DH and I are going to Rome!!! on a pilgrimage.

More about the Rome trip later. I gotta go to bed...because i gotta go to work!!!

Thanksgiving Day

2007-11-22T13:22:00.000-06:00

It is Thanksgiving Day in the USA. Here in Wolfforth, Texas, a suburb of Lubbock now, we have all 5 kids home, and some of their friends too. The usual fixins', turkey, ham, two kinds of stuffing, potatoes, cranberries, green bean casserole, rolls, soft drinks, wine, beer, tea, coffee, two kinds of pie and pumpkin bread...we will have leftovers to share too. I don't want to get into moralizing, but God is so very good, and if the visionaries all over the world are right, and we are heading for some kind of chastisement, I hope that at its heart, Americans are not so hopelessly materialistic that we are not able to share our riches with others even in harder times.

It is a day for reflection on goodness, on blessings. To pray for the young men and women who are fighting for us in the Middle East and to remember our beloved dead who go before us.

I hope that you and your family are as blessed as we are.

Love in Christ and Mary
Judy Johnson

Link to the Lisa Montgomery Post

2007-11-21T03:33:00.000-06:00

Here is a link to the Lisa Montgomery post. Hope it is more informative than my writing was:
http://www.karisable.com/stinnett.htm

Prayer During Insomnia

2007-11-21T03:28:00.000-06:00

Some people say that the Rosary is best when suffering from insomnia. I agree, mostly. I am Charismatic and pray in tongues too. So sometimes, I resort to that.

I have tried pills, but can't tolerate them. As I get older, and need less sleep, and as I find more to pray for, I will probably spend more time talking to God.

A good thing......

Flickr

2007-11-21T03:09:00.001-06:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

On the Lisa Montgomery murder

2007-11-21T02:54:00.000-06:00

One of the things I love or am addicted to, haven't decided which yet, is true crime. I recently read the story of Lisa Montgomery, who in 2004 after unsuccessfully trying to convince everyone in her small Kansas town of her pregnancy (this after having had her tubes not just ligated but burned for four years) went to the small town of Skidmore, Missouri, and murdered an eight months pregnant woman and cut her child from her womb. It was the occasion of the first Amber Alert issued in America for a pre born child and ended (for the child at least, and her father, happily).

I am unabashedly pro-life. So it intrigued and puzzled me at the obvious disconnect here. Why are Amber Alerts not issued for all the pre born? "oh, those are just FETUSES"....Why is Lisa Montgomery guilty of murder when the doctors who perform abortions, (sometimes killing those mothers either directly or, when having post abortion trauma syndrome, they kill themselves) not guilty of murder under our laws?

Just wondering................